Grace and Heroism…

After Carson Daly made his asinine remarks about gay people not being tough enough to have handled the bonkers Jet Blue pilot – which he later apologized for – I have to admit that I was half-way into my cast iron panties and bitch slapping pumps before you could say “Nurse! Stoli!!!” The throne room was in absolute chaos as I made preparations for a special trip to the set of The Voice, just to show Carson how tough a drag queen can be. After all, I’ve been assaulted 8 times in my adult life – 5 of those times while in full regalia – and ended up on the top of the heap, my dignity and skin intact, when the police finally showed up.

But then my feeder burped, and another mother – one with far more cause to be outraged, and one mustering far more grace and heroism than Mommie Dammit could under the circumstances – made me stop dead in my tracks.

Alice Hoagland, the mother of Mark Bingham, star rugby player and a hero of UA Flight 93, wrote a response to Daly taking him to task for his bigotry. The full text of Mrs. Hoagland’s letter is below the picture…

Alice Hoagland and her son, Mark Bingham

Dear Mr. Daly:

With your on-the-air comments [Wednesday] morning, you demonstrated an ugly ignorance. But [Wednesday] afternoon you also showed the grace to apologize for your odd remarks, as you should. I hope that now you’ll take the opportunity to learn about the gay community, and how diverse it is. Gay men and women come in every shape and size: short, tall, slender, stout, delicate, and powerful. They do not deserve to be stereotyped, nor categorized. Yes, my gay son was known in our family for bringing me flowers on my birthday and Mother’s Day. He also was known for careening down the rugby pitch, and, on the morning of September 11, 2001, for charging unarmed down the aisle of a doomed Boeing 757 to face knife-wielding Islamist thugs in a hijacked cockpit. No one among his pick-up team of fellow passengers was asking “Are you straight? Are you gay?” No one doubted that a guy who weighed 220 and stood 6’4” tall — who could run over a charging opponent on the field, and ran with the bulls in Pamplona earlier that summer — would be an asset to a desperate group trying to overcome a threat onboard an airliner. My son and the brave straight guys who fought alongside him weren’t able to save their own lives that morning. Terrorists plowed the plane underground during the struggle for controls. But Mark and his fellow passengers were able to keep UA Flight 93 from crashing into the U.S. Capitol Dome, and kept many people in Washington, D.C. off the rolls of the dead.

The world has its share of strong, heroic gay men. Gay men in sports uniforms and military uniforms have been winning America’s games and fighting America’s battles for a long time: quietly, humbly, and in the face of vicious bigotry.

I hope you and I may have an opportunity to talk sometime. I prefer to believe you didn’t mean to offend. Good luck to you.

Alice Hoagland
Mother of Mark Bingham
California Golden Bears Rugby, University of California, Berkeley
San Francisco Fog Rugby Club
United Airlines Flight 93 Newark to San Francisco 9/11/2001

Thank you, Alice. Thank you for your Mother’s wisdom, your eloquent words, and your beloved son.

NOM wants a Race War…

I promised myself when I started that I would never join the anti-NOM bandwagon, and devote post after post to their evil existence. But today I learned of something that I just couldn’t leave to the offices of Bilerico or Joe Jervis.

I must lift my glass to Joe Aravosis for tipping me off with his brief article on America Blog, and thank him for providing the links to the materials listed below. Both documents listed are from NOM’s own archives, submitted as evidence in court, and show that they have aimed in the past to ignite a race war between Blacks, Latinos, and White gays.

In their own words…

“The strategic goal of this project is to drive a wedge between gays and blacks – two key democratic constituencies. We aim to find, equip, energize and connect African American spokespeople for marriage; to develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; and to provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots. No politician wants to take up and push an issue that splits the base of the party. Fanning the hostility raised in the wake of Prop 8 is key…”

If you have the attention span of a ferret, you realize that the last sentence is referencing the uproar amongst the LGBT community in California when exit polls showed that a majority of Black voters had voted in favor of Proposition 8. The story gained national media attention, and – speaking from personal experience – even though most of the LGBT community realized that Black voter turn-out for Prop 8 was relatively small in the over-all count, the Black community still wants to play victim and beat us over the head with it. The hypocrisy in that still amazes me and, as I recently said to a close associate who is Black and who attempted to do just that with Mommie Dammit, “What are you bitching for? You aren’t the one who had their civil rights taken away. With the way you cannibalize your own, and the homophobia that runs rampant within the Black community, did you really expect any less? Do you even remember who Bayard Rustin was? I do!”  The sad thing was, she didn’t. I had to edumacate a grown Black woman about the openly gay Black man who was responsible for the majority of the organization of the 1963 civil rights march on Washington D.C., the openly gay Black man responsible for bringing non-violence to the Black civil rights movement… and how her beloved Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. shut him up, pushed him aside, threatened him… yeah. And you have the nerve to wonder why we felt betrayed – again – why we were angry about you knifing us in the back. Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Trans-folk have always been instrumental within the fight for the civil rights of Blacks in America. Is it so wrong of us to hope that you remember our alliance, and to expect that you would return the favor?

I wasn’t raised to see people differently because of their color, where they came from, what they believed in, how old they were, what physical limitations they may have, or who they loved. I was raised to see people for who they are, what they stood and fought for, and the love (or lack of it) in their hearts. I don’t give a damn if you’re purple, walk bow-legged because you have three testicles, believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, come from Pakistan, are 136 years old and want to marry a 60 year old Russian virgin… good luck with that, by the way!

I care that you are honest, kind, charitable, generous and honorable. I care that your words and your actions are one in the same. I care that you realize that this wonderful, tortured, beautiful and blasted little blue marble we live on is the only one we have – and that we share it as one family, brothers and sisters all.

Now the “religious” freaks of NOM, and the rest of their ilk, would see my hopes for humanity destroyed by igniting a war between you and I. They want us, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Arabic, Purple, Polka-dotted…. all of us at each others throats. Why? The answer is obvious – Divide and Conquer.  Their tactics are no less insidious than those of the Nazi propaganda machine during the decade before World War II. They are the same tactics used throughout the Jim Crow era, and favored by Segregationists. How long will it take, after they have defeated the Gays, before they come for you? How big a step, in their new Old Testament Theocratic United States of America, before they start calling non-Whites the “Children of Cain”? Before they launch an all-out attack on your civil rights? Before you are murdered in the streets for being some other color than White – some other religion than their definition of “Christian”?

We’ve seen it before. We’ve seen it in the Pogroms of Czarist Russia, the Crusades of the Catholic Church, the witch hunts throughout Europe and America. We’ve seen it in Nazi Germany, Fascist Spain and Italy. It continues today in the Middle East with Islamic fundamentalists against Israel, and Islamic sects against each other. We see it still in the Communist Chinese oppression of Tibet. We see it all over the continent of Africa, as one maniacal despot after another slaughters entire villages, towns, and makes children into walking bombs. Here in the United States it wears a different face, in the ability of the uber-rich to crush the dreams and livelihoods of the poor and middle class. It shows itself in the racist attempts to foist voter registration laws on minority voters that are reminiscent of Jim Crow. Immigration laws that push a similar agenda. The war on women’s rights, that would see every woman barefoot, pregnant and chained to a stove… preferably with no right to vote, illiterate, and returned to the status of property – first of her father, and then of her husband.

THAT is the America they seek. THAT is the America that we must fight them, tooth and claw, to prevent. That – despite their lies to the contrary – is NOT the America our forefathers envisioned, NOT the America that millions of our men and women have fought and died for.  The words in the Pledge of Allegiance, “…with Equality and Justice for All” will remain hollow and meaningless until NOM and all their kind are defeated. America must never become another theocratic Reich, never another Iran, never another Nazi Germany.

Do you remember the poem by pastor Martin Neimoller, about the apathy of German intellectuals during the Nazi era? I do…

First they came for the communists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Those words are as true today as they were 75 years ago. If I may, and with apologies to the good pastor, we could write the same today:

First they came for the Immigrants,

and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t an Immigrant.

Then they came for the Islamic,

And I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t Islamic.

Then they came for the Gays,

and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t Gay.

Then they came for the Labor Unions,

and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Labor Unionist.

Then they came for the Women,

and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Woman.

Then they came for…

… the Hispanics, the Blacks, the Mormons, the Catholics, the Jews, the Democrats, the Libertarians, the Asians, the Arabic…

Doubt me? Read…

United States District Court for the District of Maine

United States District Court for the District of Maine 2

Inspiration Comes From the Strangest Places…

At a time in our history when the biggest mouths in Christendom are screaming at the top of their voices that they are oppressed, that our government – more emphatically, our President – is making war on their religion, I am oh so glad that I long ago said goodbye to the fear-mongering and hypocrisy that is monotheism. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know that Mommie Dammit doesn’t deny the need for faith. I know that people – all people, have a need to believe in something greater than themselves. It doesn’t matter if you’re a monotheist, a polytheist, a pantheist, an atheist or an agnostic – we all have a need for that something greater that comforts our fears, inspires our hopes, and gives us the need to better ourselves.

I don’t care if its the Christian god, the Muslim god, one or many of the pagan gods, the Flying Spaghetti Monster or a stinky tennis shoe. If that “higher power” drives you to become a better, more caring, less selfish human being then I say “All Hail Nike!”

My grandparents raised me in a fundamentalist Christian home, back when fundamentalism meant you actually read and understood the bible, its history, and its value. They taught me its wisdom and warned me of its follies, that the written word we have today is the product of centuries of men – in all their egomania and fearfulness – putting their interpretation of an oral tradition on paper. They taught me that there was much to learn from the words, but that I had to listen intelligently and with the conscience of my heart to know what was Truth amongst all the detritus.

Today I had a chance to have that lesson brought home to me. I started the day reading the long list of blogs that I wade through over the weekend to catch myself up with what both the angels and the fools have been up to. You know as well as I do that it was more of the same… “Christians are being oppressed”, “Government is making war on religion”, “God hates (enter the target of the hour here)”, and the ever popular “God destroyed/killed/cursed/abandoned (next target here) because this nation tolerates homosexuals/abortion/taxes/Unions/Democrats/Jews… the list is as endless as the putrid gas fueling the hate and ignorance behind it.

Later in the day, after the dishes were done and the laundry well underway, I took the time to watch a movie I’d borrowed from my friend, Terri. The movie was “Mama I Want to Sing”, and, while the cast is mainly made up of B-listers of varying degrees of talent, it was the cameo role filled by Patti LaBelle that originally sparked my interest. When Terri let me borrow it I had no clue as to the story line, the plot, or the characterizations. One read of the back cover and I lost a lot of enthusiasm immediately. It breaks down to a mother/minister (Lynn Whitfield: The Josephine Baker Story) who disapproves of her daughter’s (R&B vocalist Ciara) choice to sing popular music instead of sticking with the choir. The son, Luke (Kevin Phillips), is largely taken for granted and treated as an afterthought – both my his mother and sister, as well as the script. Though they did manage to contrive a storyline for him ¾ of the way through the movie – he goes off to Baghdad to be an “embedded photo-journalist”, and then is kidnapped and killed by terrorists. This, of course, is the catalyst that brings mother and daughter back together and heals the wounds between them. While I’m sure that the producers and writers of this movie had something of an inspirational, feel-good story in mind – I hate to say it, but they failed on both counts. Perhaps if you have the I.Q. of a grapefruit, and the emotional complexity of Sponge Bob they might have succeeded in their aims. Mommie Dammit is no-where near that category. I’m a fucking genius, and five seconds on Dr. Ruth’s couch is all I’d need to have her drooling and needing to change her Depends.

And yet I can’t say that the people behind this movie utterly failed with me, either… after all, they inspired this post. Or rather, two sequences of dialog did. The rest was some of the most over-wrought, contrived, sniveling melodrama I’ve witnessed since I quit watching soaps 30 years ago. I truly hate it when something has the potential to give you a mind-blowing, orgasmic experience but leaves you wondering if there’s enough Viagra on the planet to get it up. Meh! Enough bitching… maybe.

The entire 2 hour ordeal could easily be boiled down to two scenes that comprise a grand total of about 10 minutes of the film. The first is one that is sooooooo on point with all the bile, faked self-pity, hypocrisy and flat-out lies coming from the bully pulpits of Christendom. It is a moment between the mother, Dr. Lillian Winter (Whitfield) and her production assistant, Holly (Shonda Farr).

Lillian: “Lillian Winter does not come back home to New York for a small crowd… I can not build a mega-ministry with empty seats… Too many ministers become bigger than their ministry, too many ministers are being worshiped while their followers should be worshiping God. That is not happening to me.”

Holly: “But it is happening.”

Lillian then gets a look on her face of combined embarrassment and indignation, but is saved from having to make a comeback by a knock at the door. Holly then ruins her moment of Truth by making a horrified (as in “I’m fucked! I need to say something quick, before I’m fired!”) apology, claiming she didn’t mean to be disrespectful. Holly, honey, speaking the truth is the highest form of respect – whether the listener wants to hear it or not. Kissing Lillian’s ego-maniacal, pompous ass would have been disrespectful of the entire planet. Lillian is but a poor dramatization of the problem plaguing the entire realm of monotheistic ministry: that so damned few pastors, preachers, ministers, priests, mullahs, or rabbis truly follow their holy charge – to be humble, modest, charitable, and meek. To teach the tenets of their faith with love, and not to sit in judgment. To show the same love and compassion to everyone, follower and fallen alike. To humble themselves before their god, seek that god in private prayer that is modest and submissive. Instead we get self-serving liars and frauds, child molesters and thieves. The bible says that Christ ran these people out of the temple, condemned them for their hypocrisy and shamed them for fouling the house of god. Then they were called “Pharisees”, today we call them “Evangelicals.” Two generations, amongst the many, who exemplify prayer as thinly veiled blackmail, “Do as I say, God, or I’ll cease to believe in you!” Prayer as hubris.

The second stroke of brilliance, amidst all the drek, was at nearly the end when Lillian has her “epiphany moment” – the moment when she suddenly hears the words coming from her own mouth, and realizes that she is as guilty as “sin.”

She stands before her congregation and begins to preach about how the world needs “God’s love.” She then turns to 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 in which the apostle Paul speaks of Charity, the purest form of love – Lillian uses one of the newer translations, which actually works better for the story line, so I’ll use her version: “[4]Love suffers long, and is kind; love envies not; it does not vaunt itself, it is not puffed up… [7] Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things… [13] And now abides faith, hope and charity, but the greatest of these is charity (love).” She then turns to the gospel of Matthew 7:2 for inspiration and says that “We are judged with the same measure with which we judge others… as Christians we have got that bad. We judge others in the church, out the church, around the church, because of the church. We judge others, but we justify ourselves. We judge others, but we make excuses for ourselves…”

I look at these so-called ministers and Lillian’s words resonate like an aftershock. And yet I know that they are as a whisper in the face of the tempest. The baying of the wolves and the bleating of their sheep is far too loud, too strident, and too fearful. The targets of their hatred and bile will continue to suffer and die because of their words, and the hypocrites – like the Pharisees of old – will puff up their chests, jut out their chins, and claim it is the will of their god.

There is more to that chapter of Matthew that the Christianists and their monotheistic ilk conveniently forget. It is the words of their own Christ which condemn them for the fruits of their labor – for the murder, hatred, starvation, poverty, and broken lives left in the wake of their words. “Beware of false prophets which come unto you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits… Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit… Not every one that sayeth unto me Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven… Many will say unto me in that day Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? And in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name have done many wonderful works? And then I will profess unto them, I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” (Matt. 7:15-23)

I know it’s an old joke, but…

Being the techie-geek, all the recent media hoo-hah about Google developing driverless cars is causing Mommie Dammit a bad case of gas. Seriously – cars that drive themselves, maybe. But cars that drive themselves that were designed by GOOGLE?!? Are you fuckin’ CRAZY?!!!

Show of hands… how many of you have used Google Maps?  OK, now how many of you used Google Maps to find the nearest Starbucks, and ended up at the Waste Processing Plant in Deer Point, Michigan? “Me! Me! Oooo! Me, Mommie Dammit! I did!” … Exactly. Now, how many of you are thrilled with the idea of Google selling your driving history to every marketing agency on the planet, and then the next time you input “Kansas City Public Library” ending up at the offices of some plastic surgeon who specializes in liposuction and boob-jobs? Since you now have no choice in the matter, Google already sells your Web browsing history and any personal data it gathers from your browser activity to the highest bidder – so why should we expect any different from this das bumsen Scheißalbtraum?

The whole episode reminds me of this particular little incident years ago… perhaps you remember it, too. And General Motors’ point is just as valid in this instance as it was then…

If Microsoft made cars

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car95” or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

‘Nuff sed!

Last Weekend was FULL…

Its been a busy couple of weeks for Mommie Dammit, especially since the First Lady graced us with a visit to Kansas City. Its been a time for some really wonderful events – and a few we could do without, namely a couple of unwelcome appearances by the freaks from Westboro Baptist Church Cult. First they plopped themselves down like a turd in the punchbowl at the DNC fundraiser, with their hateful and full-of-shit posters. The 18^th & Vine Jazz District was fouled with their bile and our ears dinned by their blaring boom-box. Making matters worse, the Secret Service and KCMO PD took their sweet time making them leave. Yet, as my beloved grandmother used to tell me, even the smelliest manure can work small miracles – their unwelcome appearance afforded me the opportunity to have a welcome discussion with a few of the other business people in our office building. And you just know that any opportunity Mommie Dammit gets to fire off at the lip, I’m gonna jump on that like Brittney Spears on a qualude.

Last weekend was full of delights for Mommie Dammit! First, it was the 6^th annual celebration of Harriet Tubman Day here in Kansas City. The festivities were held at the Bruce R. Watkins Cultural Heritage Center, where I was treated to a morning filled with inspiring stories of women who made an impact on our culture, our history, and our lives. The event – for me – was topped off by a performance of a 20 minute segment from the musical “A Triumph of the Spirit – a musical about Harriet Tubman” by Shirley E. Oglesby Smith Johnson. My special treat – aside from the magical performance by Mrs. Johnson – was to watch my friend and coworker, Terri Anderson, as she portrayed Tubman’s guardian angel. It was moving, and I can’t wait to attend the full performance at the Gem Theatre, June 2^nd. My only regret was that all the pictures I took, and the short video clips of the various performances, decided that they did NOT want to leave my phone and go to my computer… they decided to delete themselves instead. Some day I really WILL learn to use this damned HTC Evo… maybe.

That same Saturday afternoon came an event of major significance for the LGBT community in Kansas City, and Mommie Dammit was delighted to attend and to see the terrific turn-out. March 10^th saw the grand opening of the new LikeMe Lighthouse, a love-project from a hometown-girl-made-good Miss Chely Wright.

Chely Wright

To quote the sweet lady herself, “LikeMe is about inclusion. LikeMe is about respect. LikeMe is about meeting and knowing people and choosing to seek out ways in which we might be similar, rather than the ways we might be different. LikeMe is about being who you are meant to be.” I look forward to seeing our local Lighthouse become a powerhouse in the community, and I encourage everyone to visit, volunteer, donate, or just come in and meet with others like ourselves – and maybe get a hug if you need one. The LikeMe Lighthouse is located at 39^th and Main in KCMO, and is open to everyone – LGBTQI, family, friends, and allies – Monday through Friday, 9:am to 9:pm.

Saturday night was another treat, as Chely hosted an entire bus-load of music and comedic talent for the LikeMe Lighthouse fundraiser at the UMKC Student Union Theatre… which is also the only photo I took that day that survived my bumbling with the Evo.

Unfortunately, Mommie Dammit learned about the concert rather late in the game and ended up in the nose-bleed section. Which means that all of the shots I took during the concert were nearly black. Seems even a $480 smart phone has it’s limitations. Sigh!

Chely gave a rambunctious performance of a half dozen of her hits, and dedicated one in particular to her lovely wife – Lauren Blitzer – who joined the audience in clapping along and dancing in our seats. Joining Chely were local K.C. artist Kristie Stremel, CNN’s Thomas Roberts, Grammy nominee Jennifer Knapp, former Q.A.F. Lead Hal Sparks, The Real L Word’s Stacy Ryerson & Stamie Karakasidis, and my favorite multi-mega-talented Scotsman Alan Cumming.

Alan Cumming

Jennifer Knapp

Tracy & Stamie

Thomas Roberts

Frankly, I can’t wait until Kristie hits the big-time. The girl’s a natural with acoustic guitar, and has an excellent voice for rock and soul. As for Jennifer Knapp – GAWDZ!!!– if you don’t have this woman’s albums already then get off your lazy ass and go get ’em! Incredible voice. Tracy and Stamie were a riot, and it was a whole bunch of fun to finally see their stand-up. Thomas proved an excellent MC for the event, and – besides being a handsome devil that Mommie Dammit would eat with my fingers – revealed that he has a subtle, evil sense of humor. Hal Sparks? What can I say… the man had me in hysterics with his wicked humor. Straight boy or not, Hal, you’re still Mommie Dammit’s favorite flavor of Slurpie!

And then there is Alan Cumming, possibly the most lickable… um, “likeable” thing to come out of Scotland in many a year. Alan treated us to comedy, cabaret, and he really brought down the house with his cover of “Edge of Glory”…

Now, if only he wasn’t already happily married to Grant Shaffer… sigh! Oh, well – I’d still lick … um, I still LIKE HIM… seriously… a lot… especially with Hershey’s Syrup and maybe some strawberries?

After over 3 hours of wonderful entertainment, Mommie Dammit hauled my tired rubber titties off to bed and tried to get some rest for the finale on Sunday… but for some reason nocturnal fantasies of a 4-way with Alan, Thomas, and Hal left me more sated exhausted than ever. Hmmm…

Sunday dawned bright and cheery, and I was off to the LikeMe Lighthouse again. This time for the NOH8 Campaign event, with founders Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley. One look at the line when I finally managed to haul my toucass over there, and I knew the chances of getting my photo taken for the campaign were next to nil. But I’m ecstatic for the turnout they had, and very happy to have had such a fan-freakin’-tastic weekend. Big thank you’s to my buddy Terri, and to Chely Wright for making this a weekend to remember!

Patience Grasshahpahhh….

Shut up already! I’m working on something that requires brain-cells…  I heard that!!!FINE!, yes – the few remaining ones I have are all vodka-fueled, but they’re still fully functional.  Expect a couple of big posts by the middle of next week.

In the meantime, Mommie Dammit’s gonna have a very busy weekend. First there’s the Harriet Tubman Day festival at the Bruce R. Watkins Cultural Heritage Center (3700 Blue Parkway, KCMO) on Saturday, March 10th. The festival starts at 10:am. Next, is the Grand Opening of the LikeMe Lighthouse (39th and Main, KCMO) from 9:am till….  Ah, and then Sunday they’re hosting the NO H8 Campaign event from 12:noon till 3:pm.

So, no – I don’t just lie around in my pantaloons thinkin’ up ways to torment my brain-damaged children. I gots stuff!… now where the hell’s that Stoli….?

First Lady does lunch…

We had a bit of excitement here in Kansas City’s Historic 18th & Vine Jazz District today – First Lady, Michelle Obama, met with local DNC supporters for a fundraising luncheon and, later, with a group of National Gaurdsmen involved in the Mission Continues non-profit group which helps veterans become involved in community service.

While Mommie Dammit couldn’t get close enough to snap a photo (the crowd was thick, and so was the KCMO PD and Secret Service presence), so I must settle for the official White House pic – there were a few others who showed up early who weren’t so welcome… you guessed it. The Phelps Freaks (a.k.a. Westboro Baptist “Church”) arrived 2 hours before the FLOTUS was scheduled to touch down at KCI. Mommie Dammit was among many who called in to the local police to protest their presence – amongst others who work in my office building – and a co-worker of mine went down to confront them where they spewed their usual ignorant bile. I was awfully proud of Christina for her action, and I have her to thank for the photo below…

Notice the bitch is trodding on an American flag! As if the signs aren't vile enough...

Between the complaints and the good sense of the Secret Service, the slime maggots from WBC were compelled to leave long before our gracious guest arrived. I watched gleefully from my third-story perch while they packed up their spew, their obnoxious boom-box, and their sorry selves and marched off up Vine Street.

So I managed to sneak out of my fluorescent hell office, and watch from half a block up the very same Vine Street as Mrs. Obama was hustled out of the SUV and into the Blue Room – one of the classiest jazz and blues clubs I’ve seen – and from there to the American Jazz Museum. This is the First Lady’s second visit to KCMO, the first during the 2008 campaign when she attended an event at the storied Gem Theatre.

A local TV station, KMBC, did a quickly thrown-together fluff piece about the First Lady’s visit – in which, at about the 1:13 mark you can see the sun gleaming off the top of my bald head in the background just as Michelle was escorted through the side door of the Blue Room… what the hell?! The SIDE DOOR? REALLY! This is the First Lady, DAMMIT!!!… pause, sip vodka, continue (winks to Sharkfu)

From here, Mrs. Obama headed to St. Louis for a speaking engagement this afternoon with the DNC chapter there.

Welcome to Misery um… Missouri, Michelle!